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Laughter Is The Best Medicine – Gudo neDanda (Shona Native Language)

Question: GUDO rakakwira DANDA rikadonha. Chii chakadonha? (A) Gudo (B) Danda (C) Gudo neDanda (D) Hapana It depends who is answering the...

Question: GUDO rakakwira DANDA rikadonha. Chii chakadonha?


(A) Gudo
(B) Danda
(C) Gudo neDanda
(D) Hapana

It depends who is answering the question in Zimbabwe. Look at the answers below.

Tapiwa Zuze

ACCOUNTANT:
Iwewe chii chaurikuda kuti chidonhe between the two?

ENGINEER:
It depends on the effect and extent of the gravitational effect on both these two objects. If the DANDA was directly perpendicular to the ground while the GUDO climbed the danda at 45 degrees then the chances of it falling is 4.2.

MARKETING MANAGER:
We are the leading suppliers of treated poles and we haven't received any complain from clients for the 45 years we have been in business. So it cannot be disputed that GUDO ndiro rakadonha.

POLITICIAN (from the ruling party):
That's a figment of an imagination. The baboon that is deemed to have fallen had actually been skinned and eaten during Operation Nyama Pakisimusi. It demonstrates the continual demonisation of our government and its policies by our erstwhile enemies. We reiterate that there is no going back in the empowerment of our people, and it will continue whether more baboons are reported to have fallen from matanda. After all we have confirmed with our Ministry of Environment, most species of baboons are now extinct. They were slaughtered for meat as a substitute for beef.

POLITICIAN's response (from the opposition):
One doesn't need to be a rocket scientist to tell that it is the baboon that fell. It can't climb the DANDA without falling because of starvation and illness. This demonstrates the government's insincerity and lack of policy package in tackling such environmental disasters. We promise people democracy and respect of human and animal rights. Under our government only the DANDA will fall not GUDO, but at the moment it is the baboon rakadonha sedhora redu.

JOURNALIST:
GUDO risina makumbo rakakwira DANDA asi harina kudonha. Danda racho ndiro rakatodonha gudo rikasara rakarembera mumhepo.

CIVIL SERVANT:
It depends on whether the GUDO was running away from the peanuts being offered by the government. So because of hunger and starvation it fell back to the ground and failed to reach greener pastures being offered elsewhere.

THE POLICE FORCE:
It is the GUDO who fell because it failed to observe written down rules and regulations of our good and well maintained roads.

ENGLISH-CHALLENGED PERSON:
Iti izi bhikozi of sangishenzi that whaz propozed by the west that the gudo whazi running from that wichi kozed the fellow comredhi gudo to felling.

SABHUKU:
GUDO ndiye akadonha nekuti akange aona kuti musangano waari kusupporter hauna pundutso. Akazenge oita zvokumhanya-mhanya zvino ode kuuya kwedu kumusangano nekuti aive anzwa kuti marori eupfu nemafuta aive asvika pama grocer apo.

WASU:
Ini ndinobviro ite deny twunyaya twakaso daro ngekuti hapana evidence yakasokwana apa. Asi muchidimbu ndingangoti baboon ndiye wakadonha ngekuti haana kunyatso observer kwaaienda uye paakwira. Zvino ndingobviro mupe yambiro yekuti next time wode ku climber DANDA tanga waite consult amweni ari around kuti kana ode kukwira ano user method ipi yacho.

SAMUTOKO:
Danda ndiro rakadonha nokuti rakange ranyoporiwa nokoronyera.


The list is endless kkkkkkkkkk!!!


Laughter is the best medicine.


Adopted and edited by:

Tapiwa Zuze – www.tapiwazuze.com

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